So I’ve written him this ditty—a show of loving support.
May this rhyme bring him luck, for his big day in court.

He’s got not one case to argue, but back-to-back: TWO.
And that is a feat that he’s long yearned to do.

Replace her rule with this new, refined rule for legal writing, and get your words right in your memo:

🔷 1: Do NOT vary the substantive words of your case.

Before we had redlines, that’s how partners communicated their edits on our drafts—

(often with little notes scribbled in the margins, up on the side, and over onto the back page (and sometimes on to a side rider)).

Here’s a checklist of common errors I see in memos every year (so you can avoid them).

Save + put on your wall!

Please save this checklist—and share to help more 1Ls ♻️

(—even though I said I’d never do this again.)

Dear 1L, If I were savvy at sales, I’d make you give me an email address to get this attachment. But you have no time for that, so here it is, no strings.

—She doesn’t know any of the facts in the hypothetical.
—He doesn’t know any of the cases you’ve found in your research.
—They don’t know any of the legal principles you’ve found for your analysis.

NOTHING.

So as I head home today to Philly and leave these copies behind in Rhode Island, it’s not because I can do without them—it’s because they’re so essential to me, I keep a set in each place.

📘 Bryan A. Garner’s “Legal Writing in Plain English”:

My task was to analyze whether a mother could bring a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

She wanted to sue the coroner who’d autopsied the wrong body (that of her nine‑year‑old daughter), where no autopsy was needed or authorized.

(35 out of 100.)

It was Oct 1993.
It was my first & only feedback.
I thought the world was going to end.
And it forced some intense soul-searching.

🩳 “Little kids” are short.
Periods and commas [.,] are little kids.
They sit on or below the line.
They’re too short for cars to see.
They must play safely INSIDE the fence (the quotes).

🛑 The WRONG WAY is to:

-Pick a random lawyer
-Learn nothing about them
-Send them a generic message
-Explain you want to “pick their brain”
-Make clear you seek a 1-time transaction
-Suggest that they “jump on” a 60-min Zoom

❌ “Assuming, arguendo, that the case is ripe for review, the plaintiff still lacks standing to bring it.”

Try “even if” instead.
It’ll help you sound less dead.

✅ “Even if the case were ripe for review, the plaintiff lacks standing to bring it.”

Dear legal writer, Legal writing is important. As lawyers, we don’t have the luxury of not writing well.

Words are the tools of our trade. We get PAID to wield words to persuade. If WE can’t communicate well, what’s our value anyway?

—All I said to myself was, ‘I can’t wait to finish law school and start making money,’ and ‘I long to get married + have children.’

When I was 34, I was married with 3 girls under age 5.

The word “would” wreaks special havoc in a complaint.

E.g.

❌ “Plaintiff would drive 45 minutes longer for the new role.”

❌ “Plaintiff would contribute $100,000 to the fund.”