So as I head home today to Philly and leave these copies behind in Rhode Island, it’s not because I can do without them—it’s because they’re so essential to me, I keep a set in each place.

📘 Bryan A. Garner’s “Legal Writing in Plain English”:

My task was to analyze whether a mother could bring a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

She wanted to sue the coroner who’d autopsied the wrong body (that of her nine‑year‑old daughter), where no autopsy was needed or authorized.

(35 out of 100.)

It was Oct 1993.
It was my first & only feedback.
I thought the world was going to end.
And it forced some intense soul-searching.

🩳 “Little kids” are short.
Periods and commas [.,] are little kids.
They sit on or below the line.
They’re too short for cars to see.
They must play safely INSIDE the fence (the quotes).

🛑 The WRONG WAY is to:

-Pick a random lawyer
-Learn nothing about them
-Send them a generic message
-Explain you want to “pick their brain”
-Make clear you seek a 1-time transaction
-Suggest that they “jump on” a 60-min Zoom

❌ “Assuming, arguendo, that the case is ripe for review, the plaintiff still lacks standing to bring it.”

Try “even if” instead.
It’ll help you sound less dead.

✅ “Even if the case were ripe for review, the plaintiff lacks standing to bring it.”

Dear legal writer, Legal writing is important. As lawyers, we don’t have the luxury of not writing well.

Words are the tools of our trade. We get PAID to wield words to persuade. If WE can’t communicate well, what’s our value anyway?

—All I said to myself was, ‘I can’t wait to finish law school and start making money,’ and ‘I long to get married + have children.’

When I was 34, I was married with 3 girls under age 5.

The word “would” wreaks special havoc in a complaint.

E.g.

❌ “Plaintiff would drive 45 minutes longer for the new role.”

❌ “Plaintiff would contribute $100,000 to the fund.”

Starting in Big Law? Take note!

When I supervised associates, I could always tell when one was less than thrilled to receive a project.

I’d sense a subtle eyeroll,
an inner groan,
or even a little sigh.

(That’s for 𝟐𝐋 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 jobs; yes, it is nuts).

👉 And it means you’ve got FIVE urgent tasks.

1- Update and perfect your resume. (Yes, it really needs to be “perfect.”)

They all say something to the effect of:

“I haven’t found a friend group.
Everyone seems to be in their established cliques already.
I feel isolated and alone.
Any tips?”

In the U.S.:

🔹 A “company” is a “collective noun” that functions like every other SINGULAR noun.

Other common, collective nouns in legal writing include:

So he looks up at you and asks, “Got it?”

You nod, trying to look like you’ve done this several times before.

When you’re new to legal writing, it’s natural to think:

—Courts’ words sound better than yours.
—Courts' sentences should be quoted in full.