I was 47, and I had no clients.

What firm wanted a 47 year-old, BigLaw burn-out with no book of business?

I felt old, useless, unemployable.

I tried to become a law professor, but that failed fast.

Dear Legal Writer,

I wanted to title a post, “do’s & don’ts.” But I had no clue how to make either word plural. So I enlisted my friend, Lindsey Lawton, to help.

Here’s what we found out:

I’m spending the weekend in a final push on the book:

going through the last round of comments from the final proofreader.

A surreal feeling suddenly came over me on this early June morning, and I thought I’d share.

It made me hate legal writing.
It made me never want to write.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, law school grades just came back.
Maybe you bombed writing, too?

Yet no one wants to start working at a firm only to find out it’s a culture mismatch.

You really need to do some detective work first.

Here are 6 markers of firm culture to look for & some ideas for how you might go about uncovering them:

The biggest complaint I hear from associates about legal writing is that the partners are constantly rewriting everything they write.

The result is that associates lack confidence in their legal writing.

Dear Legal Writer,

Here’s everything you need to know:

🔸 To begin, “myriad” means “a countless number of specified things,” (Oxford English Dictionary), or “too many to count.”

I had just returned to my desk after an early orientation meeting and was on the way to the loo, when my phone rang.

“Could you stop by as soon as possible?”

It was a partner. I’ll call him MB.
I was genuinely excited.

Here are 7 sayings that I heard for the first time at a firm.

Learn these today, so you won’t hear them, feel clueless, and be left to wonder.

⬇️

🔸 “I forgot how ‘green’ they are.”

It’s called “Dear 1L: Notes to Nurture a New Legal Writer,” and it’s due out June 25, 2024.

🔹 If you read it, you’ll learn:

-What to expect every month of 1L
-How to research & write the 1L fall memo

“A triumvirate of murine rodents totally devoid of ophthalmic acuity were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturalist’s marital adjunct.

Said adjunct then performed triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally used for the subdivision of edible tissue.

Dear Legal Writer,

I’ve been seeing “plethora” used inappropriately in WAY too many LinkedIn posts from legal peeps recently:

▫️ “We discussed a plethora of topics on the podcast.”
▫️ “Our new expert witness has a plethora of good ideas.”
▫️ “Jane has a plethora of adorable pets at her house.”

I’ve seen several hundreds of these resumes. Law students send them to me AFTER everyone’s already signed off, and AFTER they think the resume is “blessed,” “final,” and “good-to-go.”

BIG problem:
—I see nits & formatting errors.
—I see things SO easy to improve.
—It always breaks my heart.

We started this whole journey together, you know. You and me. This is year THREE! You guys are my original gang. I know your names. Your faces. Your fears, your triumphs.

🔹 I was hired fresh out of college and had no experience. There were 6 of us, plus a paralegal manager, and she was the only one with prior experience.