My P-E-N-C-I-L Approach Systematically Roots Out the 6 Worst Sins in Legal Writing
Dear Legal Writer, We’ve all been there: The brief is finally done, but it’s several pages too long. You’ve got a few hours to try to cut it before the filing deadline, and you can’t afford to lose substance.
What’s your first move?
Try my P-E-N-C-I-L approach. It systematically roots out the 6 worst sins in legal writing:
-Passives
-Expletives
-Nominalizations
-Complexities
-Intensifiers
-Legalese
🔷 1: PASSIVES. (Culprit: “by the”)
Root out passive voice by searching for sentences containing “by the.” That’s the most common signal for passive voice. Passive voice is always LONGER than active voice.
🚫 “The bill was passed by the Senate.” (Passive/longer)
✅ “The Senate passed the bill.” (Active/shorter)
**
🔷 2: EXPLETIVES: (Culpits: “It is” & “There are”)
Both two-word phrases are almost always useless expletives. They take up space without adding value. Cut them, and make your subject carry out the verb.
🚫 “There are three factors that courts consider. They are: _”
✅ “Three factors the court considers are __”
✅ “The court considers three factors: __”
**
🔷 3: NOMINALIZATIONS. (That’s just a fancy way to say clunky noun clauses that can be converted into verbs.)
make arrangement for –> arrange
provide a description of –> describe
take the deposition of —> depose
*Without the nominalizations, sentences are SO much shorter.
**
🔹 4: COMPLEXITIES. Simplify unnecessarily COMPLICATED words
E.g.,
“facilitate” —> “help,” “assist”
“utilize” —> “use”
“ascertain” —> “find out,” “learn”
**
🔹 5: Intensifiers. Excise adverbs and adjectives; use stronger nouns and vivid verbs instead.
E.g.,
“very hot” —> “steamy,” “sweltering”
“walked quickly” —> “raced,” “sped”
**
🔹 6: Legalese. Leave the legalese on the cutting room floor.
—Can I leave you to add some examples?
***
Won’t you try my P-E-N-C-I-L tool today?
💌 Amanda
P.S. Did you know that ALL my legal writing posts are collected in one FREE place for you? —> Check out the ARCHIVE at my Dear1L website. (You can sign up for my private newsletter there, too!)
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