A Simple Editing Trick to Keep Your Reader Engaged

Want to keep your reader engaged?

Here’s a simple editing trick that works every time.

Step 1: Root out sentences that have 3 or more clauses separated by commas.

Step 2: Rearrange the clauses to eliminate one of the commas.

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Here’s an example from the Facts section of a draft brief I recently reviewed:

❌ “In early June 2021, based on the heavy volume of work Defendants assigned to her, Plaintiff renegotiated her Agreement.”

—> This sentence uses two commas, and the middle clause interrupts the reader’s flow. It feels choppy.

So this was my suggested rewrite:

✅ “Based on the heavy volume of work Defendants assigned to her, Plaintiff renegotiated her Agreement in early June 2021.”

—> This version uses only one comma, and the flow is much smoother.

Here’s another example from the same draft:

❌ “Plaintiff, in the process of seeking her unpaid wages, terminated her relationship with Defendants.”

And here’s my suggested rewrite:

✅ “In the process of seeking her unpaid wages, Plaintiff terminated her relationship with Defendants.”

See how much more smoothly the sentence reads?

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Now, you go replicate in your own brief: Find every sentence with 3 commas, do some finagling, and voila!

💌 Amanda

P.S. What’s your favorite hack for improving flow?

#DearLegalWriter