Don’t Let This Hidden Weakness Ruin Your Job Interview
Dear Rising 2L,
I have a tendency to do something bad that caused me to bomb a job interview. It’s a weakness of mine, and I didn’t keep it in check. If you have this same tendency, don’t let it ruin your interviews.
***
From a young age, I had learned to downplay my accomplishments. To be humble. To be liked.
The lesson was “taught” to me by 8th grade girls.
They hated school.
They hated their mothers.
They hated almost any adult-sponsored thing.
I was an A student. I was one of those annoying kids who actually liked school. And I loved my mom.
I wasn’t “cool” in their eyes suddenly. Oh, but how I wanted to be. So, I downplayed my successes to try to fit in.
Many of us have some similar version of the story, I would suspect. It is certainly not novel or unique.
And many of us have adopted some version of downplaying to become more likable in various social situations. No one likes a braggart. But where is the line?
I don’t know the answer. I still struggle to tout my accomplishments. I push down instincts to celebrate wins. I try to be humble, sympathetic, empathetic. To make others feel comfortable.
But one thing I know for sure:
🔹 Downplaying has no place in a job interview! 🔹
How did I screw up? It wasn’t with the partners.
Looking accomplished in front of them was easy—they were far more accomplished than me, so I didn’t need to downplay myself to make them feel comfortable.
It was the “casual” associate lunch. I relaxed from my regular interview mode when seated at a restaurant with three female peers.
They seemed like close friends. I was uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to act. So what did I do? I downplayed to try to fit in.
I met their questions about my experiences at a top, NYC firm with mealy-mouthed answers:
—“They don’t give associates that much responsibility in NYC firms compared with Philly firms . . . “
—“I’m sure I did nothing nearly as exciting or skilled as you must do at your firm.”
Oh, I went on and on.
I shudder when I think back. And, no surprise, a rejection letter arrived soon after: I didn’t have the “experience” they were after.
___
I share my story for three reasons.
🔹 One, I hope it will remind you (if you are at all a downplayer like me), that downplaying has no role in a job interview. Sure, don’t be a boaster, but you must be in “sell” mode at all times.
🔹 Two, be careful of the “informal” associate lunch. It can’t win you the job, but it certainly can lose it for you.
🔹 Three, remember that we all have stories of failures. I was turned down by more firms than I would like to remember. Take your failures, learn from them, and go rock your next interview.
All it takes is one.
Fondly,
💌 Amanda
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