4 Mistakes Lawyers Make with Lists
Dear Legal Writer, Watch out for 4 mistakes lawyers make with lists.
1️⃣ Mistake No. 1:
The items don’t make sense with the words setting up the list.
🔻 Example: “The applicant must submit a filing fee, a copy of the permit, and fill out a form.”
The culprit is easier to detect if you diagram:
➡️ Separate the set-up words and stack each item vertically:
The applicant must submit:
—a filing fee,
—a copy of the permit, and
—fill out a form.
The last item foils the list because it makes no sense to say, “The applicant must submit . . . fill out a form.”
You can also notice the cause of the mistake: The items don’t start with the same part of speech.
—> “A filing fee” and “a copy of the permit” both start with nouns, but the third item, “fill out a form,” starts with a verb.
Here’s a corrected version: “The applicant must submit a filing fee, a copy of the permit, and a filled-out form.”
And here’s a more complex example:
🔻 “To state a claim, the plaintiff must prove that she belongs to a protected class, she was qualified for the open position, applied for the position, and she was denied under circumstances giving rise to an inference of discrimination.”
Did you gloss over the glitch? Let’s break it down:
. . . must prove that
—she belongs to
—she was qualified for
—applied for
—she was denied
Do you see? Item 3 is missing a “she.”
It wouldn’t make sense to say, “must prove that . . . applied for.”
❓ How would you correct the sentence?
RECAP: Read each item separately with the words setting up the list to make sure everything makes sense.
—One good way to test lists is by diagramming.
—A second way is to see if they start with the same part of speech.
Fondly,
💌 Amanda
P.S. The mistake above is just the tip of the iceberg.
The best-written lists don’t just start with the same part of speech but also keep all their items in parallel structure throughout.
For the brave at heart, in the attached I discuss the other 3 major mistakes to watch out for with lists.
🗳️ Anything you’d add?
P.P.S. Here’s a stab at some poetry for context:
Lawyers use lists a lot in legal writing.
We use lists to state the elements of a claim,
We use lists to prove why that guy’s to blame,
We use lists to show how his evidence is lame.
We use lists for the rules a court must abide,
We use lists for why our brief’s the better guide,
We use lists to stress flaws in the other side.
But with one wrong move,
all benefits can be lost,
So take care with your lists,
or you’ll suffer tough costs.
“Parallel structure” is the name of the game.
It’s the order of your words that’s the key.
Here are some more examples so that you will see— 🙂
***